21 June 2022 Today Momma is in surgery

Dear Lucy,

Today Momma is in surgery. I prayed before we left the hotel this morning that you or Popo would be there to hold her hand after I had to go. I think about you often and wonder how you are doing. 

We are having so much fun playing RPGs right now. I wonder if you would be helping me GM games and perhaps even writing your own APs. Thank you for looking out for us and supporting us. We love you and miss you and think of you always. 

With love,

Your Poppa

30 Sept 2021 Hi from Pop

Dearest Little One, 

I was writing in my own journal about a series of unlikely and unplanned events that have resulted in very good-strange outcomes when I came across your journal. I am glad that I landed here. Oh, Little One! I have a picture on my phone of your sisters sitting on the concrete border of Veterans Memorial Park. They are smiling and beaming with sisterly love. Someday, I hope to have all four of you together, lined up and smiling at me. 

Sweet Lucy, I hope these words find you across whatever expanse separates us now. If not these words, then surely the pure expressions of love I feel in my heart for you--these must surely reach you and confirm to you that you are not forgotten. We miss you and hope that you will be patient as you wait for us. 

With all my love, 

Poppa

16 September 2021

 I was just writing in the other kids journals and wanted to say...

I love you.

I miss you.

-Momma

13 Feb 2021 Rainbow Dance Party

Lucy,

We had a really fun day today! It was cold and snowy outside. We had a fire going in the stove. Emiko, Rosie and Poppa played their RPG of the shadow beast. The kids all munched on their Valentine candy from school all day. Then tonight, we had a RAINBOW DANCE PARTY! We had a rainbow snack and the kids all dressed up in their favorite dance outfits and danced the night away. It was a really beautiful night full of happiness and love. I wondered at one point tonight if you were near by. We sure do miss you. I think both Emiko and Rosie could really use the help of their big Sis. It's been a hard year for everyone, but I think it's been especially hard on those two. Just wanted you to know I love you and think about you often and miss you terribly.

-Momma 

18 Sept 2020

I realized this week that your special day passed last week (Sept. 9th - 12th Anniversary) and I had forgotten all about it. I felt sad about that. I guess it's been pretty crazy around here lately. COVID-19 has really turned things upside down on our heads this year. Plus, my health has not been good. I'm hoping to find out soon if I will be able to have a surgery to help me feel a little better. Wouldn't that be great?

Wow, twelve years! I wonder what it would be like to have a 12 year old in our family right now. I bet you'd be super helpful and responsible. Oh, I bet you'd have been such a big help with David...and Mai Li...and Rosie...and Emiko...

They all love you.

I love you...

And miss you...

-Momma

29 April, 2020 We didn't have a grave for you...

Lucy,

We didn't have a grave for you...

This is your cousin Abigail. It was her birthday yesterday. She would have been 11 years old, just like you. Something wasn't quite right with her body when she was born. It was very sad for her Momma and Poppa to say goodbye to her so soon.

Now she has four siblings. Claire was adopted. Since then her momma (Katie) has had two more girls and recently a boy (who looks just like his dad Chris). They are happy kids. I'm sure they miss their big Sis Abigail, just like your siblings miss you.

Abigail's family had a picnic at her grave yesterday to celebrate her birthday.

I got a little teary looking at this photo. We didn't get to have a grave for you. If we did it would have said, "Lucy Shizuko Inouye September 9, 2008."

I have not forgotten you baby. I miss you terribly. Emiko reminds me frequently that things would have been different if you had been here and if she had had a big sis.

I love you my sweet little Lucy. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. Hope you and your cousin Abigail are happy in heaven together.

Love,
Your Momma

9 June 2019 Just a quiet Sunday evening

Dear Sweet Lucy,

It's another quiet evening and I am up by myself. Momma is asleep in bed with David and Mai Li. Emiko and Rose are downstairs in their room. I'm sure we would have all three of you big girls in one room. Those little girls would be so happy to have a big sister.

I have always loved fantasy books. The idea of entering other worlds or traveling through time--the idea of the great "what ifs" has always appealed to me.

When I think about you, I have many "what ifs" that come to mind. What if you had lived? Would we still have moved to Yuma? Would we have stayed? Would we have bought houses and rented houses? Would we have been called into the Branch Presidency? Your short, short life and your sad, sad death have shaped our lives beyond our comprehension to understand.

I was just reading some of the entries that Momma wrote in here. I know that you know how lucky you are to have such a nice mom. We both mean it when we say that your death was the saddest day of our lives. Never before and never after have we felt days so devoid of sunshine. We miss you. We miss you so much.

I hope you get to read this journal (somehow!).

We love you and are trying to be good so we can be together again.

With all my love,

Poppa